Nov 1st.

Life is wonderful! My Gracie Jo is growing & learning new things everyday! She'll be 9 months in a week. Jason tells me everyday that he hates that she won't be a baby for much longer, but I'm looking forward to her toddler years! She's got so much spunk & she's the happiest baby I've ever seen. Jason is doing well. Basketball season starts today. I'm excited for Jason, but a little sad at the same time. We're just spoiled in the sense that our work schedules allow us with so much time to spend together as a family, it's hard when that time gets taken away. Last basketball season I was pregnant, so I'm really excited this year to bring Gracie to a lot of the games. I'm still playing the stay-at-home-mommy card for the most part. I work some weekends, but I'm looking into going back to work full-time. Not at my current job though, I got to find something new first. I don't know if the extra money is worth having Gracie in daycare though. I can image her really enjoying it because she loves other kids/babies so much, but I don't know if I like her being exposed to a cold every other week. We'll see.

tired of being tired.

I've unintentionally ignored my blog. Maybe its been a little intentional. I just haven't left like writing much lately. I've had a lot going on lately. Nothing bad. All good. Last week was my birthday. Jason spoiled me as usual. I had a really great week. This week's been pretty busy as well. & this weekend I'm in a wedding of my friends. Excited for that. Then next weekend we're going to the ASTROS vs. Dbacks game! Soooo excited! We're in the 3rd row!!! I can't wait!!! Anyways, maybe I'll feel more in the mood to type tomorrow morning. =)

haha, momma.

I'm throwing myself a pity party. No RSVP needed! I am exhausted. For the 3 hours that Grace did decide to 'sleep', she woke up SIX times. Maybe she's teething? Maybe she had gas? Well, she's always been a tooter, but I don't think that really bothers her tummy much. As for teething... the doc has been telling me she's about to sprout her first teeth since she was 2 months old. Nothing breaking though yet. And if she was awake due to any pain at all, wouldn't she have been crying... instead of laughing & smiling. I swear, I think I saw her point at me, laugh and say, "Ha ha... Momma, Ha ha!!" I am so tired.

human-snackin' gorillas.

I woke up this morning to the sound of my baby monitor picking up someone's radio or something. It was weird. I have this silly, silly fear that the monitor will pick up white noise (ya know, noise from the beyond), so I try and keep it turned real low at night. I don't believe in ghosts or spirits contacting the living, but I still get scared. (Like how I love horror movies & being scared, but every time immediately regret watching it, because then I find myself too scared to use the bathroom at night.) I don't know if anyone remembers the movie Congo. It was about those human eating gorillas. For months after seeing that movie, I kept a cup in my bedroom to pee in, because I guess I thought there might be a Deena-eating gorilla hiding in my tub. Ya, a gorilla that travelled all the way from the Congo in Africa, found my street address, somehow had a key copied to let himself into our house while everyone was sleeping, and made himself comfy in the bathtub licking his lips while praying that I would have a bladder movement. Annnnd I have no clue where I was going with this? =)

goodnight, zombie.

Notice anything different?? No wordpress, blogspot instead. Ya, I thought long and hard, & opted for the change. It took me a little while to figure out how to export wordpress, turn it into blogger's format, then import all my posts to blogspot. Buuut, I'm genius, and I figured it out. I used blogger back when it was first getting started. I think I was 15. Yeah, 15 years old. Its changed a little since then. =) We'll see how this goes, I can always go back to wordpress.

So, this morning was nice. I spent hours listening to Noah Jones, eating brownies, & playing on the floor with my daughter. (Whom was in an awesome mood today, I might add) Its been 3 or 4 days now since I've retreated back to my bed. (Ever since Grace was born I've been sleeping on the couch so that I could be closer to her, even though we have baby monitors.) I'm now training to refrain myself from checking on her every hour of the night. She's not going to stop breathing out of nowhere, stop being so paranoid Deena! She's sleeping up to 5 hours at a time now, and hey!, I can definitely deal with that! I think the hardest change to deal with after having a baby is the inability to get a really good nights rest. Have you ever heard a new mom NOT complain about being tired? I was a walking zombie for a long time. And while I might still look like one, I'm starting to feel like a real, very alive person. And I like that Deena. A lot more than Zombie Deena!

'we're not in kansas anymore'

It looks like we're not going to Kansas after all. We were planning on leaving this afternoon, but Jason found out he can't get tomorrow off (even though its a paid vacation day). Not enough volunteers to work apparently. It's a bittersweet feeling I've got right now. I wanted to go, to get out of the city, visit Jay's family, & do the road trip thing, buuuut Grace is just about 5 months old & being in the car for 13 hours would not be the ideal way to travel at this point. I already packed everything just in case we got to go, so I get to unpack today. I got my car cleaned out though. So, I'm seeing the good & bad in this. & Jay will be making $35+ an hour tomorrow. Maybe we can do something fun this weekend. We are def going to go somewhere where Grace can see the fireworks. She's going to LOVE fireworks!

letters for grace.

This afternoon I started something I wish I had started a long time ago. A notebook that I will fill with letters to Grace that I will give her when she's 16. I want her to know how much I have loved her & I think it would be really cool for her to read stuff like the story of her birth or how cute she was when she first started to crawl, walk, or talk. I'm really happy that Jason & I each wrote her letters before she was even born. I am so thankful for my little girl. As once a girl myself, I know she will cherish things like this. Baby books, pictures, letters; I know she will appreciate it.

On another note, I'm in the mist of packing. I can't get out of here soon enough. My AC went out last night & we were stuck all night without air... in June, in PHOENIX! Tomorrow is my last night here & I am thankful for that!

9 things learned.

I often find myself reminiscing about a time not too long ago when I was pregnant. This is obvious if you've read anything prior to this entry. So in boredom, I've compiled a list of things I learned from being pregnant. =) Enjoy.

1. No two pregnant woman are the same. So often I found myself comparing me to everyone else. Why did their baby kick so soon? Why am I so much bigger/smaller? You can ask questions like, when did you start feeling pregnant? But the truth is, its different for everyone. I knew I was pregnant before I ever took a test & I think I was literally 2 weeks into it. I've known people who didn't know until they were 7 months! (crazy, I know.) Some people gain 100lbs & others, like me, gain 22lbs. My doctor told me to eat what I wanted, just not to go crazy, and I did, & gained the 'perfect' amount. Others, eat extremely healthy & still pack that baby weight. Some of us are just real lucky. Either way, the weight comes off. Most of it...


2. Its definitely a transitional time, so take advantage! Having a baby is a big change in your life. There is so much preparing to do & life changes to make. This is the perfect opportunity to work on other parts of your life that need mending or changing. Most of my changes were on the inside.


3. Pregnancy is gross. It can be anyways. Like uhhhh, laughing too hard and peeing just a tad in your undies. Ya, it happens a lot if you've got a sense of humor & a very sensitive, almost always, full bladder. And yes, women toot. Quite often too when you're carrying a baby. I'm just glad Jason had a great atittude & sense of humor about it all.


4. You're not Wonder Woman, but you're not recovering from a 20yr coma either! Some woman use pregnancy as an excuse to do virtually nothing! Wussies! Unless you're put on bedrest or told to take it easy from a doctor, you can work, you can clean, you can even exercise. I worked on my feet for 10 hours sometimes when I was 9 months pregnant. Sure, my back was sore, my feet ached at the end of the shift, but you know what, it was great exercise & being on your feet, walking around, is actually really good in that last month. It helps move the process along. I'm a prime example.


5. You'll never recieve so many massages in your life. If you're lucky I guess. Jason rubbed my feet and/or back every single time I asked. No matter how worn out he was from work or basketball. He was amazing! And I was spoiled!


6. Buying baby stuff is as addictive as crack! Or so I've been old. I guess I wouldn't entirely know. I hear its addictive though. Be patient. I was in such a hurry to start buying that I decided since I didn't know the sex of the baby, I would do neutral things. Well, when I found out she was a she, I was disappointed by small amount of pink things I had. I was sad that I hadn't waited & went with a pink themed baby room.


7. People will never be this nice to you again. People always wanted to talk to me. Ask me questions, touch my belly. I felt so special. Like I was super unique. The only pregnant woman in the whole world! Ha. Doors were opened. People offered to carry things for me. I am finding out though, people are still super nice when you're carrying around a super cute baby girl! =)


8. Do not take advice & just pretend to listen to all the BS! People told me so many scary things about being pregnant & labor. Fortuntely, I never got myself worked up over it. I always saw it as another obsticle I got to overcome. Morning sickness. Check. Spreading of the hips. Check. Labor without epideral. No check. Labor with epideral. Check.


9. Being pregnant = no dirty diapers. Enjoy it. Charish these short 10 months. (Ya, its not 9... fault advertising!) Being pregnant is not near as much work as caring for a little one. Enjoy your sleep. It WILL be a long time before you know what its like to not be tired. But most of all, enjoy!!!!!

momma's day.

My first Mother's Day was amazing! I spent all day with the most important people to me in the world. We had lunch out with my family, & swam and had dinner with Jay's side. Gracie made me the cutest little card! (Jason had a big hand in it.) The card had Gracie's foot prints & hand prints all over it, and Gracie made her first drawing for momma. (Jay put the crayons in her hands and moved the paper around when she gripped the crayons.) Jason also wrote me the sweetest letter ever, along with some useful coupons for me to use (ex: body massage & house cleaning!!) I also got lots from my sister, grandma, and mother. For Mother's Day, I bought and personalized photo albums and had all the pictures we have of Gracie's first 3 months printed up and placed inside for the moms. Jason & I also made sure we wrote letters telling them both just how much we love and appreciate them! We both seriously have the best moms. And they make the best grandmas in the whole wide world. That's not an opinion, its a fact. All in all, it was a wonderful day! I am so blessed to have the family I have.

Dave.

♥ Dave Matthews tonight!!! ♥

cdm.

This should be quick. I have a friend on her way over right now. Happy Cinco De Mayo!A year ago today I got engaged. And almost exactly a month later I found out I was preggers with little Gracie. Most people say, wow time flies, but really... a year ago seems like forever ago! I already don't remember what it's like to not have Gracie, I don't remember what its like to be pregnant, and I don't remember what its like to not have Jason in my life. I'm ok with all of this of coarse!!

Gracie LOVES mirrors. She'll stare at herself for the longest time, then start kickin her feet and wavin her arms around with the most excitement. It is so cute. She's wearing a cute pink dress today with baby knee high pink socks and a pink bow around her head.  Its as adorable as it sounds!

momma talk.

So, I think Grace was making up for the fact that last night, she woke every 2 hours... midnight, 2am, 4am, 6:30am, & 7:45 am. Because this morning she was so oocute. I was helping her with her head and neck exercises & she was just smiling & doing the new little baby giggle she does now. THEN, she decided to get moody & the only way to break her away from that is to hold her only one certain way she likes while standing... not sitting. She wants what she wants, like her momma. But God bless her, she's so adorable. Yesterday I had her in a yellow onsies w/ a yellow shirt with flowers on it, and someone said again, "What an adorable little boy!" Haha. I don't mind at all, but I was said, "I know isn't, SHE!" I don't like to embarrass people, because I know what its like to say the wrong sex.  AND at the same time, when I was a little baby EVERYONE thought I was a boy too. & Gracie and I look a ton alike as babies. Its cuz we both had barely any hair. I think little baby girls in dressed and almost a bald head is so cute though. Ha. I'm thinking about getting her ears pierced, but I'm going to talk to my pediatrician first and see what he thinks about it. I just think its better to do know then when she can start touching her ears and pulling on them.

Anyways, I'm headed to Jenna's for lunch today. I've actually gotta get going right now. Ughh.... sooo tired!!

Easter Sunday.

Today is Easter. We're getting ready to meet my family for lunch, then after that we're driving to Jason's parents house for dinner. Today I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful, loving family on both sides. I'm blessed with the love of a child, the love of a man, the love of a family, and the love of Jesus Christ! Its good to be alive!  Happy Easter everyone.

fifteen randoms.

I've seen these lists on a few myspace blogs. A bunch of random facts about yourself. I thought I'd give it a whirl...

1. I use to play softball, basketball, & swim. One of my biggest regrets is when I stopped making the time to continue on. I was very naturally athletic, and I feel like I could have had a lot of opportunities open up for me if I had stayed involved.

2. My favorite foods are; Pizza, teryaki beef, white rice, sushi, & quesadillas. So, its a good thing I've been blessed with a super fast metabolism.

3. I love the Dave Matthews Band. I seriously feel like that's a big reason why I first took interest in Jason. Haha. That was the first time I met someone who was a bigger fan than I am.

4. When I was 15 I had a hernia removed over the summer, & the next summer I found out I had a benign tumor in my boob. I had surgery twice in one year, and that's the only time I've ever had to.

5. When I was younger I played the violin, the flute, and piano. Even though I always wanted to to play the drums. I quit playing, because I didn't want to be a band geek.

6. I've gone to school for nursing, elementary education, criminal justice, psychology, & sociology. I'm very indecisive & to this day I can't put my finger on what I want to do, & the money train for schooling is on hiatus.

7. I am a girly tomboy. I'm really not that girly at all. I mean, I might look it sometimes, but I don't think that way generally. I rather hang out with a bunch of guys & watch football & drink beer. I like being outside in the heat, and I hate wearing anything other than flipflops. & I love hooters...  for the wings.

8. My favorite sound is two-fold. Its the sound of Grace cooing, followed but the laughter of Jason. Makes me smile everytime!

9. I hate talking on the phone & nowadays, I don't text near as much as I use to.

10. I did not vote for Barak Obama. & thus far, I wish a lot more people would have not either.

11. There are a few commercials that I can not STAND!! One is the freecreditreport dot com commercials. Everytime I hear of of those stupid jingles I want to strangle thoses losers & that parate! lol. Secondly, the shamwow guy that also does the slap chop commercial. I'm sorry, but no, the slap chop will never change my life. I'm not going to love his nuts, and my tuna isn't boring, and neither is my life. This guys has waaay too much energy! And lastly, and mostly... that stupid snuggie commercial! You know the blanket with arms. If you have a robe, simply put it on backwards. That is all the snuggie is!! Or simply wear your robe the right way and just tie it in the front. Golly!

12. I can't stand when I hear about teenagers smoking, doing drugs, drinking, having sex, cursing, and being violent. Why can't kids just be kids anymore. I want more than anything to raise my child in the same manner as my mother did.

13. When I was a very little girl, I was pretty bossy. When we played school, I had to be the teacher, if we played house, I wanted to be the dad. When we played powerrangers, I wouldn't play unless I was the pink one. Same with Clue, if I wasn't Scarlett you could count me out! =)

14. Im a very impatient person, and I change my mind like crazy.

15. I believe without a doubt, that Jason & I were made for eachother. We didn't realize it when we first met, but God sure did have a helping hand in it all. People say this all the time and it doesn't work out that way, but I do believe Jason & I will be together for all of our lives.

one month, today

Today Grace turned one month old. She still looks so tiny though. Jason & I both agreed that this has been the longest month of our entire lives. I feel a little repetitive here, but I'm so glad that Jason & I found each other through all the mess & I'm thankful God helped direct us into each others paths, when sometimes we weren't exactly sure of what we wanted!! - When did I become so sappy?? Pregnancy hormones must still be lingering. =)

Grace is sleeping right now, but I'm sure not for long. She wakes up quite a bit in the night still. Rarely sleeps at all during the day either. I love grandparents. They are always willing to babysit. The last two Fridays Gracie stayed at grandma's house over night so Jason & I had time to spend together. Yes, we drank! I've missed doing the happy hour thing with Jason & coming home tipsy. =)  -- Tomorrow Gracie has her checkup with the doctor. Jason & I are taking her when he gets off work. I'm also going to look into more wedding information, because if we're planning something for Aug or Sep, I need to get my butt in gear. -- This has seemed super random tonight. I guess that's me. I'm going to bed. Maybe for an hour or so, haha.

Best 'job' ever.

Life with a baby is sooo much more work than I thought it would be. Its a 24/7 job. But its the best job I've ever had! Gracie is an amazing baby! She is such a joy to have. She rarely throws fits, and rather than cry, she wimpers. Everything she does is just so stinkin' cute. God really did bless us with a beautiful baby girl.

So everything is going great. Jason and I are loving life. I'm pretty sure Gracie is loving life. She's definately living the dream right now. Sleepin', eatin', and taking the occasional (& often) huge dump! We're just one big, happy family. =)

Amazing Grace.

So I had Grace on Sunday 02.08.09 @ 2:45am. I labored alllll day at home on Saturday. Contractions were ten minutes apart, so if I had decided to go to the hospital, I would have only been sent home. They told me to wait until they were 5 minutes apart, which seemed like it was never going to come. Soo, I went on with the day as much as normal as I could. We had pizza for lunch, had some friends over, took a long walk, then went to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner with Jason & his basketball team. During dinner the contractions went to about 6 minutes, and I wasn't waiting any longer. We came home, grabbed some stuff, and headed out. I was dilated 5 cm and growing. Around midnight I got my epidural, and at 2am, they said the baby was ready, but the doctor was delivering another baby. Sooo, I held her in for 30mins, and started pushing. In just 15 minutes and a few pushes, she came flying out!

A baby is a beautiful miracle. I still have a hard time looking at her and believing she is mine; that Jason & I created her in just one single night. She's such a good baby too. She rarely cries; unless its time for me to go to bed. But, she sleeps in the night for almost 4 hours at a time.

Everything in my life has changed. I'm living it for her now, which is a little bit of a strange feeling. Her well-being is put before that of anyone else. I never believed in love at first sight, until I met her. She makes me want to be a better person each and everyday. My love for Jason has changed immensely. I didn't think I could love him anymore than I did, but with each day that he holds, feeds, and cares for Grace (and I), my heart grows stronger. And he does such a great job being a dad. He makes it look so easy. I love the family God has given me, and I would never ask for anything different, or anything more.

I got a dirty diaper to change...

Grace

To my unborn daughter  Gracie Jo,

As you have been growing inside me I have been thinking a lot about the day I will finally meet you. So many of us are so excited to see you for the first time. I feel like I know some things about you already from the months you've spent inside of me. You seemed a little shy in the beginning, almost hesitant to move, but as soon as you found your arms and legs, you didn't seem to want to stop. At your ultra sounds, you refused to let us take pictures of you. You always had your hands and arms in your face, just like your mom does. Right before I go to bed, you seem to get a burst of energy, and think mommy's belly is a punching bag. When I'm not feeling well, it takes just a little nudge from you, and I feel so much better, just like daddy does when I need some cheering up!

There's so many things I wonder about you. I wonder if you dream yet, and what you dream about when you sleep. I wonder if the loud music in the car bugs you, and if you too can feel when daddy is taking up the whole bed! I dream about what you will look like. If you will have a full head of hair like your daddy, or if you will be bald your whole first year like your mommy. Who will you look the most like? I know you will be an adorable baby, and grow up to be a beautiful, young lady.

I can't wait to meet you and teach you all about this world. Some things will be easier to explain than others, but your father and I will do our best to help you understand the good and the bad. Your daddy is a little smarter than your mommy, (which he will let you know many times.) so for the tougher life questions, I hope you go to him. Someday you'll have your heart broken, and someday maybe lose a few important people in your life, but we'll teach you that its all in God's plan, and I will be there to help you cope and understand. I hope through life, and all its lessons, you will stay humble, stay focused, and always thrive to be original.

You have two more weeks of growing inside of me before you are ready to meet everyone. When you make it clear to us that you are ready to come out, we will be here, ready to hold you for the first time. Ready to feed you, keep you warm, protect you, and love you more than anything else in this world.

With all the love in the World,

 

Mommy

Countdown: Four Weeks.

I'm cleaning the apartment and catching up on laundry today. I tried to make an appointment with the eye doctor to get an exam, new contacts, and glasses before the baby comes. They don't have a doctor in today, so I'm going this Saturday. I hate how much I love to change things. I moved the kitchen table to face the opposite direction, and if I was only strong enough, I'd be moving our bed and dresser to different sides of the wall right now. I'm listening to Taylor Swift's new CD right now. Lo burned it for me, and I can't stop listening to it. When I was in high school I use to write all the time. Songs, poems, even stories. I wish I had the drive, or even time to write more now.

I just finished writing up my list of things to bring in my hospital bag. Just four short weeks until parenthood. I'm still not even getting nervous yet. I've been a little nervous about bringing a new baby home, but for some reason the birth/labor is not worrying me at all. I'm very confident that God will be right by my side along with Jason and my mother.

Have I mentioned that Dave Matthews' Spring tour stops in Phoenix on May6th? The day after Jason & I's one year engagement anniversary. =) Dave also stops in Vegas at the MGM on May 8th & 9th, so we might decide to fly to Vegas and see him there! Sounds super fun! I don't care where we see Dave though, I'm just happy he's returning to Phoenix, or somewhere I can see him so soon since Aug. I still think its funny that the thing I liked most about Jason when I met him was that he loved Dave like I did. And Matchbox.

Anyways, my laundry is getting wrinkled, and I have to pee. =)